and that's another way how you wrap him around your finger — by getting as much valuable information out of him, without seeming pushy or like a psycho. Try these out first, see how they work for you and your relationship. The trick to casual conversations is to make sure you keep the conversation going. These are the opening lines, in a manner of speaking.
Sometimes we meet a man who is everything we want in a guy, he’s funny around friends, he’s intelligent and he’s easy on the eyes. The first set of questions is for a casual conversation. Ask him an open-ended question (see questions below) and listen intently, then follow up with an open-ended question about his answer. You asked an open-ended question, he responded, and you kept the conversation going with a response that reflected his answer while giving a little tidbit of information about yourself as well. Sports are a safe conversations starter, and if he doesn’t watch sports you can always follow up with, “Oh, what kind of things are you interested in? They’re also particularly geared towards men who are shy and don’t know how to make conversation or who don’t know how to talk about themselves and their own interests.
While it can sometimes feel like men only want to talk about themselves, the truth is any man who is even remotely interested in you will want to hear what YOU have to say as well.
And, believe it or not, he is “screening” your answers and wondering whether you're a good match or not…
If you’re an avid knitter and your guy has no interest in knitting, offer to show him something you made or give him some strange knitting trivia he likely wouldn’t know. Most people have a hobby, even a failed attempt at a hobby. With any luck, you’ll have heard of the band he names! I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone that said “good guy.”Lex Luthor, Doctor Octopus…there must be a villain he likes?
The right kind of guy doesn’t have to like what you like, but he does have to like you (and all of your interesting little tidbits as well). If he has any kind of brain, he’ll like some kind of art form. Easy, simple, and everybody eats so you can’t lose. Not relative if you met at a carnival or you’re there with him now. If he says “you” on a first date, it’s time to be creeped out. A quick way to make him smile – unless he’s always hated his jobs. If no…If yes…If you don’t know them, just say “Ah, cool.” And move on. If he says “drugs” or “alcohol,” it’s time to walk away. He shouldn’t take too long to think about this one.
The point here is that you ask questions that bring you closer together, not bring you apart. None of these questions should be considered too much information to give, so you can feel completely comfortable asking them.
This is a very useful principle from some of Michael Webb's 1000 Questions for Couples. There are many different things that even the most incompatible couples can move past.
An easy way to learn more about him as a person without having to ask him something personal. Most likely…some guys really aren’t into superheroes, though. If he says no….ask: Smile when you ask him, maybe he’ll laugh at your humor (if not, do you really want a guy with no sense of humor? Plus, you’re now imagining him all cute and mischievous, aren’t you? I know partners who have been together for decades and are still finding things out about their lover.How will you keep the sparks flying (or the conversation going) if your dear has become a deer?Date questions are a little bit different than “stranger” questions.A closed-ended question can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” and leaves no room for conversation.However, if you ask a series of open-ended questions, you and your guy could be chatting away for hours on end.It doesn't matter if it's your first date or you've been married for 20 years, the right questions can bring you closer and strengthen your emotional bond.