I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.
On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family.Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.The youngest of their three children had just left for college. No trip with my husband and parents to South Africa.No reason, now, to apply for the Harvard Loeb Fellowship. No writers’ residencies at those wonderful schools in India, Vancouver, Jakarta.She would say, “I’d like to see more of this character.”Of course, I would agree — he was indeed a captivating character. Jason is compassionate — and he can flip a pancake. He also has an affinity for tiny things: taster spoons, little jars, a mini-sculpture of a couple sitting on a bench, which he presented to me as a reminder of how our family began. In my most recent memoir (written entirely before my diagnosis), I invited readers to send in suggestions for matching tattoos, the idea being that author and reader would be bonded by ink.